Funny Love Quotes For Him

Funny Love Quotes For Him Biography

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If you've landed here in search of a sweet sonnet or other classically romantic line to share with a loved on this Valentine's Day, you might not have come to the right place. But if jokes about the notoriously divisive holiday by some of our favorite comedians is what you're looking for, then we've got you covered.

Check out what 15 different comedians have said in their acts about the day where every person -- not just those in relationships -- has the chance to be emotionally disappointed. If there's one thing about Valentine's Day that Stephen Colbert, Aisha Tyler, Mike Birbiglia and the rest of the comics can agree on, it's that there's always room to take it less seriously. Vote for your favorites!

Teens love to celebrate Valentine's Day. The heady mix of first love, freedom, and hormones, make an interesting combination for Valentine's Day. Enjoy this collection of cute Valentine's Day quotes and share it with the one you love. If you feel nervous about confessing your love, use these cute Valentine's Day quotes to woo your sweetheart.

Leo Tolstoy

All, everything that I understand, I understand only because I love.

Are we not like two volumes of one book?

Lao Tzu

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength while loving someone deeply gives you courage.

John Bunyan

Better let my heart be without words, than my words without heart.

Grey Livingston

Candle light, moon light, star light The brightest glow is from love light.

Robert Browning

Grow old along with me, the best is yet to be.

Pixie Foudre

I love you like crazy, baby 'Cuz I'd go crazy without you.

Rabindranath Tagore

I seem to have loved you in numberless forms, numberless times, in life after life, in age after age forever.

Winnie the Pooh

If ever there is tomorrow when we’re not together... there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we’re apart... I’ll always be with you.

Winnie the Pooh

If there ever comes a day when we can't be together keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever.

La Rochefoucauld

If we judge of love by its usual effects, it resembles hatred more than friendship.

J. P. Richter

In women everything is heart, even the head.

Andre Gide

It is the special quality of love not to be able to remain stationary, to be obliged to increase under pain of diminishing.

E. E. Cummings

Kisses are a better fate than wisdom.

James A. Baldwin

Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up.

Joyce Carol Oates

Love doesn't grow on trees like apples in Eden - it's something you have to make. And you must use your imagination too.

Robert Frost

Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.

French Proverb

Love is blind. That is why he always proceeds by touch.

Jerome K. Jerome

Love is like the measles; we all have to go through it.

R. Buckminster Fuller

Love is metaphysical gravity.

John Keats

Love is my religion - I could die for it.

Sean Connery

Love may not make the world go round, but I must admit that it makes the ride worthwhile.

David Viscott

To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides.

Oscar Wilde

When you really want love you will find it waiting for you.

OMG Valentine's day is today? Dammit, I forgot to get a boyfriend again. Ahhh this lovely holiday graces us yet again. As if tripping over the roses addressed to my roommate and the ones on my awful co-workers desk weren't enough to make me want to eat an absurd amount of chocolates (heavily discounted starting today)... I can now thank all of my friends on Facebook and Twitter for suddenly becoming crazy cheesy romantics on this very day. Normally I try to live in the moment but today I'm just looking forward tomorrow. Luckily, I have some amazing single girlfriends so we shall hit the town tonight and toast being sexy & single. ~Anonymous Anti-Valentine's Day post

If you're feeling a bit blah about Valentine's Day this year...you're not alone! The day is almost over and reality will soon be here but until then enjoy a laugh or two with our 25 favorite anti-Valentine's Day quotes...True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked. -Erich Segal,

If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question -Lily Tomlin

Love is the only kind of fire which is never covered by insurance. -Unknown

I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me. -Henry Youngman

Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution. -Mae West

Always marry the man of your age because if your beauty will fade so will his eye sight. -Unknown, funny love quote.

Don't fall for anyone, unless they are willing to catch you. -Unknown

Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love. -Albert Einstein

I sold my memoirs of my love life to Parker Brothers and they are going to make a game out of it. -Woody Allen

I have found men who didn't know how to kiss. I've always found time to teach them. -Mae West, funny love quotes.

The bravest thing that men do is love women -Mort Sahl

One should always be in love. That is the reason why one should never marry. -Oscar Wilde

Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions. -Woody Allen

You can't put a price tag on love, but you can on all its accessories. -Melanie Clark

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot. -Groucho Marx

Love is said to be blind, but I know some fellows in love who can see twice as much in their sweethearts as I do. -Josh Billings

I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox. - Woody Allen

One is very crazy when in love. -Sigmund Freud

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell -Joan Crawford

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience. -Samuel Johnson

You call it madness, but I call it love. -Don Byas

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. -Unknown

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What... does a woman want?" -Sigmund Freud

Never sign a Valentine with your own name. -Charles Dickens

Animals are reliable, many full of love, true in their affections, predictable in their actions, grateful and loyal. Difficult standards for people to live up to. -Alfred Montapert

Love means nothing in tennis, but it's everything in life. -Unknown

I have great hopes that we shall greatly appreciate each other all our lives as much as if we had never married at all. -Lord Byron

It is impossible to love and be wise -Francis Bacon

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity. -Albert Einstein

Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch. -Cathy Carlyle

Love is being stupid together. -Paul Valery

Love is a grave mental disease -Plato